Note: Originallly written on the 26th of December 2008 in a Facebook post.

So I got up two days ago, went straight into the dining hall for a cup of coffee where today’s newspaper was lying untouched. You see, I don’t usually read the newspapers but something caught my attention on the front page in today’s edition. It was a line saying “Malaysian will soon have to pay RM20 to watch this…” followed by a picture from Disney’s ‘Bolt’ and then another line saying “…and only RM12 for this”, followed by a picture of the ridiculous ‘Cicak Man’. The words that automatically came out of me after reading that was what.the.f*ck? So I skipped to page 10 to read the whole article.

It says that the members of the Malaysia Film Producers Association (MFPA) is submitting a proposal to the government, proposing a price hike on Hollywood films to RM20 to boost ticket sales for locally made films. They further on stated that the recently released ‘Cicak Man 2: Planet Hitam’ and ‘Antoo Fighter’ did not do well at the box-office due to the stiff competition they had to face with Hollywood releases such as ‘Madagascar 2’ and ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’. Now, I have seen ‘Earth’ and am stunned by its atrocity but then again, looking at the previews for ‘Cicak Man 2’, give me ‘Earth’ anytime! I would rather see a suave looking piece of plank (e.g. Keanu Reeves) than to see an ugly son of a b*tch who makes lame jokes that I cannot even laugh at even if you pay me to (e.g. Saifuk Apek).

Now, the problem with this country is that it’s well-known to produce crap, despite the best of intentions. This includes automobiles and, yes, movies, and the government is always trying to protect these Malaysian-made trashes. Having said that, I do own a Proton, and I can’t criticise Proton too much; it’s no Toyota, but you do get what you pay for, I suppose. However, Malaysian movies are different. They’re preposterous! Such terrible films shouldn’t be made in the first place! Do these retards of the MFPA think that by hiking the price of Hollywood movie tickets, that they can actually save the locally made films? I don’t f*cking think so!

You may raise it to RM30 for all I care, and I will still watch ‘Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen’. You can raise it RM50 even, and I will still catch the first showing of ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’. They can even lower down the ticket price for ‘Anak Mami 5’ to RM2 and I will still not bother with it. On a more personal note, being an anak mami myself, these films (the ones directed by the infamous Prof. Madya A. Razak Mohaideen, like ‘Nana Tanjung’ and ”Mami Jarum’) are a bloody disgrace to my culture. It is a culture I am so proud of, and I swear if the Professor makes another anak mami-themed movie, I am gonna metaphorically throw a brick at his house.

So what I am trying to say here is that these kind of Malaysian movies are beyond saving. At this rate, there’s absolutely nothing out there that can be done to save these films. Besides, by raising the price of Hollywood tickets, what do you think is going to happen to the piracy market? Obviously it’s going to boom because most cheapskates are going to buy pirated DVDs instead of paying the price of an admission ticket. This just goes to show the kind of idiots we have in the MFPA, to be coming up with such ludicrous proposals. I think they should stop wasting their time drafting out such proposals and actually concentrate on how to make better quality movies.

Its president, Ahmad Puad Onah, said, “It is timely as some of today’s locally-made movies are on par with foreign movies in terms of quality.” Is this guy trying to crack a joke or something? Because if he is, it’s actually working. I have seen French, Spanish, Brazilian, German, Dutch, Italian, Turkish, Korean, Japanese, Iranian, Chinese, Thai, Colombian and Bollywood movies, and they are not on f*cking par with a lot of the Malaysian movies I have seen; they’re beyond us. Again, it proves that they’re nothing but a bunch of imbeciles to come up with such silly statements.

So please, I beg the government, for the love of God, do not accept this brainless proposal. I have never actually paid any heed to any of our government policy because the field of politics never interest me. But now, they’re about to foray into my territory…movies/cinema…and if they do approve this proposal, it’s about time I say…..UP YOURS!

Fazil is referring to mainstream Malaysian films. He has nothing against the independent ones (like the ones directed by Yasmin Ahmad) since those films do have quality.